Have you ever been in a situation where you’re feeling unsupported? That the world is against you? That you’re looking for help and people just aren’t helping you?
I’ve felt that feeling before and I’m quite familiar with that. It could, in theory, be one more reason I went into depression and became a shy boy over 10 years ago.
I get this feeling. It’s not something that you have “suck up and deal with.” Or “it’s life”.
Well it is.
But let’s be honest, it’s terrible advice to give.
This feeling is part of a bigger problem.
Specifically you have a dependence on someone or something else. Whether it’s a job, your spouse, a family member or friend, or something else. Whatever it is is keeping you stable. But only for the moment.
The issue with dependence is once it goes away, or even when you have it, you don’t feel like you’re a step up. I’m living at my parents place for example. In a sense it’s a step up, yet I’m still broke. In a sense, I’m feeling unsupported because money is limited to me.
But I don’t believe the world is against me
Nor do I truly feel like I’m unsupported. Why? Because I devoted my time and energy to myself. To be growing myself.
Even though I am dependent on my parents for food and shelter, I am not dependent on them for money. Money is a resource that is in no short supply. And money can eventually provide me with food and shelter too.
What I’m getting at is this…
Dependence is like growing a garden
When you are growing flowers you can do one of two things. You can meticulously water them on a regular basis or you can water them somewhat irregularly.
True if you water your plants on a regular basis, your garden will probably look nicer compared to watering irregularly. However when a storm comes which garden patch will you think will survive?
By watering regularly or by depending on people often for your survival, you become dependent on them. And when problems come or your dependence isn’t there to save you, you’ll be blown away. That instance of feeling unsupported becomes very real. You won’t be able to handle that problem and you’ll be stuck in a corner feeling like you won’t be able to get out of it.
It’s only when you start to grow yourself
That you become dependent on yourself. Like a irregularly watered plant, they’ll grow deeper roots into the ground to grab nutrients. So even when you don’t feel supported in times of need, don’t fret.
Focus on growing your roots. Deeper and deeper you’ll only get stronger. Read books, posts, learn about your passions and take action to achieve your goals and dreams. Root yourself so deep that when someone helps you, you’re not leeching to it because you depend on it. It’s because you know it compliments you.
To your growth!
Eric S Burdon