They lived happily forever after.

Or did they really?

If you grew up with fairy tales, it could seem that love is no more than a dragon to slay before saving the princess and marrying the next day. In real life, though, there are not so many dragons around, and the path to a happy relationship is not as clear. There are still metaphorical dragons to conquer on the way, from jealousy to unfaithfulness. Yet, assuming you’ve got what it takes to avoid the traps and dangers of those metaphorical enemies, the main question remains. Is there a happy ever after or is it another creative concept that only works in fairy tales? Besides, if the dragon is only an image to refer to risks that are much more real and harmful, could it be that the forever in fictional love is a metaphor for something else? Real life can indeed be very difficult to interpret if, all the guidance you’ve got, comes from your favourite stories of princes and princesses.

Red roses for lovers (via ProFlowers)

At first, it’s the time of butterflies and flowers

Do you remember the feeling when you meet someone new you fancy? There’s the soft flutter of butterfly wings in your stomach, or at least, that’s how the romantic mind likes to think about it. In reality, when you dig a little, there is no such thing as a butterfly in your stomach. For a start, it wouldn’t survive in the acidic environment of your intestines. And even if it did, there is no actual room to fly in there. A team of neurologists has long found out that one of the parts of the brain that is responsible for dealing with feelings of euphoria and excitement is linked to the gut perception, so that when your brain feels love it also passes on the feeling to your gut – which is both a centre for physical reaction to love and pain. In short, the butterflies are all in your mind, but that doesn’t stop it from being an exciting emotion. At the beginning of a relationship, the butterflies and the little gifts are part of your everyday expectations: From the red roses to the sweet notes , it’s the euphoria that speaks. But what keeps the butterflies alive is cherishing your partner in the long term.

People change all the time and it’s okay

Every day you change, you learn new skills, you become a little stronger, you refine your interests and aspirations. So, even though you dreamed of a forever love, it so happens that sometimes your self-growth journey takes you to a different direction. You’re not the person your partner fell in love with. They’re not the right person for the new you anymore. It can be difficult to transform your vision of a happily ever after into a not so happy anymore, but you can look for guidance with an online divorce service to make room for the next butterfly wings moment. Your journey in life is a journey of personal development, growth and endings.

Rediscover yourself

What went wrong?

After your love is over, it’s not uncommon to look for answers and try to understand what went wrong to avoid repeating the same mistake in future. Ultimately, you might end up blaming yourself. It didn’t work because you did that, you said this, and you behaved like that. You need to stop carrying the responsibility of your breakups. Beating yourself up doesn’t help to heal and to rebuild yourself. You don’t need to change who you are to maintain your relationship. You need to find the relationship that is right for you. A breakup gives you the opportunity to find yourself again. Yes, it sucks to be on your own. But things can only get worse if you refuse to spend time with yourself to understand the person you are now and to heal your pain.

Is love not meant to last?

Ultimately, it doesn’t seem that love is supposed to last forever. However, even if it doesn’t last because life gets in the way or because circumstances change it’s the intention to build a happily ever after that creates long-term relationships. As contradictory as it might seem, love lasts only because you believe that it can. It takes more than believing in it, though. It’s about working at it, every day, and growing together in the same direction.

Believe in your forever

In conclusion, love isn’t eternal, of course. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t fill your life with love! You can, and if you manage to find someone who completes you, you can live together happily ever after… for as long as it lasts. Love is a destination you can revisit many times in your life with the partner(s) of your choice.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *