“Finding The Best Way To Deal with Rejection? Try This.” is part of a three-month writing challenge I’ve been posting on Medium. To view the article, click here. To learn more about this writing challenge, click here.

Getting rejected in many cases is the worst. It communicates exactly to a person that they are unloved, not wanted, or not valued

It’s a huge kick to morale and can even lead to people giving up entirely. 

We’ve all had some serious low points, some even lower than others because of that. Although you can see this as a way to pity and want to help that person, I believe getting rejected is actually a beneficial thing.

Why I think that is because we get to learn more about ourselves. Furthermore, we learn to adapt and get used to rejection.

Indeed, this is what I suggest when you want to deal with rejection: learn about yourself.

Crazy, Right?

“I am good at walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject.” Jeanette Winterson

I agree it’s a little out there at first blush, after all, why would you want to get used to rejection? I just said it sucks and crushes morale.

But that’s only when you let it.

It’s actually not that out there once you read through what I have to say on the subject.

Rejection sucks, there is no denying that. But like any kind of negative emotion that we experience, we can manipulate it (like excuses). We can grow from the experience and come back stronger and with more knowledge (much like doubts).

In this case, we can use rejection as a way to understand more about who we are.

  • Why exactly did you get turned down? 

  • Why are you turning down someone else?

Those are but the basic questions that you can ask and from there you can learn about what you value in life.

A powerful leader who values their fans would not try to create content to manipulate people into something they don’t value, no matter the payment they get.

Someone who values money more than their fans would take that deal.

We can use rejection as a way to understand more about who we are.

Rejections Lead To Different Paths

“I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want me.” Oprah Winfrey

Who we become in our lives is determined by the rejections that we experience. This can be justified by past experiences, what we tell ourselves, and more. 

From those rejections, we place our values into other areas of our lives. 

I dropped accounting because I value writing far more. I rejected myself from entering the accounting world because I won’t fit in.

That alone has given me the motivation to move into other areas, to think critically at what I’m doing and to push forward.

Furthermore, it teaches us to look at ourselves and evaluate our decisions. Like the example above, the powerful leader could devote time to what kind of people they want to work with. 

For the greedy leader, they could learn a valuable lesson should they face rejection and that experience alone could question their morals.

All the same, both would be walking a different path altogether.

Rejection Teaches Patience Too

“Rejection is a challenge.” Veronica Purcell

One of the other biggest things that you can use to deal with rejection is patience as well. Since things are at a standstill, it’s smart to take inventory and learn about yourself. But also to bide your time too.

In some cases, you could be spending days or even years only to end up not going after what you want. 

That whole process can be a learning experience and a test of your own patience. Even though initially, it could be a colossal waste of time.

In these kinds of instances, no matter the circumstances, it’s important to move on. 

As mentioned above, devote time to learning about who you are.

Who Are You?

Rejection is the hardest, yet actually, the best way to learn about yourself. In the face of depression, doubt, rejection, and in general negativity, we can learn deeply about ourselves.

It’s in a state where our morals come into question as well as many other things. It’s these that define us and make us into who we are. Those things can change as always, depending on how you look.

That will help you grow and understand yourself better than simply waiting.

To your growth!

Eric S Burdon

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