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There’s a saying that I use quite a lot in my life, commonly I tell this to my parents and some times it’s something I say in my videos as well. The phrase is simple:

“Don’t worry.”

Now my parents are going to worry about me considering the circumstances in my life at the moment, however my meaning behind those two words is the same message regardless of who the person is:


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I know it’s not a simple thing to do, problems in our lives happen and we didn’t want them to happen. The initial reaction is to put all of your anger and hatred towards a single individual or source and go and point fingers at people. Anger in the end is still anger, however I see it more as an overreaction than anything else. Let me explain.

Anger as an overreaction

There are a few common reactions when a problem occurs: either one of anger from one end and panicking from the other in an attempt to resolve the problem.

When someone is angry, their judgement is impaired severally. The anger is geared commonly towards the “bearer of bad


anger-794697_640
news”, but also the individual isn’t entirely focused on what is going around them. Indeed, the average person is solely fixated on themselves and trying to justify themselves in feeling better by lashing out.

I see this as an overreaction because even though it can be expected from some people, it doesn’t solve the current issue, at the end of the day there is still a problem at hand. Anger helps one side feel slightly better, while the other is a state of gloom, as if they deserved this outburst.

Panicking

Panicking can stem from a reaction to the anger (obviously could be matched back with anger as well) or in anticipation of anger. In the end it doesn’t help with problem solving either as the individual blames themselves for the problem and continues to use that as an excuse as to why they’re incompetent. Panicking can also again induce anger in retaliation which really doesn’t help the situation at all.

True the problem may have occurred as a result of the individuals fault and one should blame themselves for the mistake that’s made, but we’re imperfect beings. Mistakes happen and the problems can be greater than we are, but that’s not a reason to beat yourself up or shift the blame over to someone else.

Problems are learning experiences

To be self-aware is to understand yourself and other people but knowing how people react to problems is important and can help you to understand individuals in many different ways. Anger shows selfishness, while panicking shows selflessness but also depression under certain circumstances.

Both in the end aren’t going to solve anything as the anger will still linger and a wedge will be driven between the individuals relationship, the parties involved would likely show resentment rather than willingness to solve the issue.

The solution is simple and it’s in the way of thinking. Instead of asking yourself “How the problem came to happen?” or shifting the blame or overreacting, instead ask yourself “How can we solve the current problem?”.

Approaching the problem with a calm demeanor is a form of control. Yes there is a problem and it may be someone’s fault but in the grand scheme of things it matters very little who’s fault it was, it’s not going to fix the problem that’s occurred. Instead let’s find a solution as there is always a solution regardless of the circumstances that you’re in!

Thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed reading this article, consider subscribing to the mailing list where you’ll get updates whenever I make a blog post!


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