No one likes to argue. Well, lawyers like to argue, but that’s not personal and they make a lot of money doing it. In a relationship, no one enjoys an argument because there’s a fight. However, arguing in a relationship can be good for you both. Relationships are not always plain sailing. Being married and living together means that you are aiming to spend the rest of your life with the same person, through good and bad, thick and thin. It’s not always easy; sometimes that person that you’ve chosen for life because of their quirky demeanour and their penchant for the chocolates that you don’t eat is going to bore you. Sometimes they’re going to annoy you just by being in the same room. And do you know what?

That’s okay.

Bickering with someone that you love doesn’t mean that you are doomed to fail as a couple. Two people with differing views and opinions coming together is sometimes the hardest thing that you can do. You may be the type of couple that have bickered and argued since the day that you got together, from where to live and raise a family to the type of white the wedding invitations that you want. Bickering could be your normal already, and it’s how you communicate with each other. If it isn’t it doesn’t mean that you have differences that cannot be worked out – far from it. It means that bickering is your method to get to the right solution. Love isn’t all throwing yourselves into each other’s arms, sobbing with relief at the romance. It’s about compromising and communicating and sometimes, the frustration of blocks for both comes out in the form of bickering.

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We all have bad days. We all have those times that we’ve asked our spouse fifty times to take boxes from Christmas to the attic, and yet it’s June and there they still sit. Those situations will lead to rows because you’ve already communicated what you need, and that need isn’t being met. Saying it loudly is healthy because you don’t repress your emotions of sadness or annoyance. Repression is not good for your mental health and so it’s good for your relationship to bicker at each other occasionally. You can increase and strengthen your relationship with constructive arguments that express your feelings in a way that works for you as a couple. Once you get to the other side of your argument, you can reconcile your feelings and speak in a calmer way – plus there’s always good ways to make up. Wink, wink.

Arguments don’t have to end your relationship as long as the bickering is constructive and makes you feel happy by the end of it. You’ll both feel better and closer after you communicate, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. Take the time to get to know your boundaries as a couple and don’t take those boundaries for granted. Bickering may feel awful in the moment but it’s going to lead to a happier you.

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