An open letter from the confident man to the shy boy, my past self.
This is a letter to my past self, a troubled boy with a twisted mindset. Although the adventure has been fun, hard, and enlightening, one of the things I would be curious about is if things played out differently.
What if I hung around a different group of people? How would things have gone if I never gave up and looked for more help? What would’ve happened if I were strong and shrugged it off?
This is a letter to my past self. For people who want to understand where I’m coming from, what I experienced through middle school. I believe this is an important point in my life as many things happened.
It was the start process that brought me here, roughly 13 years ago.
Dear Past Self,
I’m not going to sugar coat it, your life is messed up. I’m not saying this to hurt you or drag you down. However I am saying to confirm it. I know that middle school is a messed up series of years, but let’s be honest here, being shy and quiet isn’t really working out for you.
Working out your own emotions and doing things on your own isn’t working either. The fact you’ve been procrastinating a lot is a good indicator. Not to mention getting average grades.
It doesn’t matter much to me about grades, after all being an entrepreneur is in your blood despite what you might think. You love your paper route so much, it’s clear you like to not be told what to do.
But going back to being shy, it’s unlike you. After all, I know your talent, your gift. Your gift is you are good with people and being around them. The fact you used to love being around people and were able to make friends easily is proof. It’s because of that, when you sway away from that, it’s difficult to do things.
In elementary school you understood the importance of being around others. They lift you up, make you smile and be cheerful.
It’s during that time you need to tap back into that.
In This Time Of Need
In this time of need, my past self, it’s important to branch out. Yes some kid told you you were gay. But I also know that you enjoy proving people wrong. You revel in it. You enjoy winning and showing off your ability.
Start to tap into that. What do you think would be better? Giving up now or thriving because of that? Yeah it sucks that someone doesn’t like you, but there will be more people like that, people who won’t like you.
You have an opportunity to embrace and accept that. That’s a gift not many people get to have early on.
In this time of need, you need support, and unfortunately the friends you’ve hung out with for three years now don’t seem like the ones who will provide help.
By all means, try, reach out and see, but I encourage you to expand your network.
After all you are skilled at making friends. You’ll find people to help you. Just as you did through the teachers that tried to do something.
It’s not that your current friends aren’t supportive or are fake friends. In fact they truly are great people. But they have their own deeper cuts that you might not realize right now. Don’t ask them. Instead, talk to them about your problems, share them.
The last thing I want you to do, my past self, is get stronger. You spend a lot of time playing video games or on the computer. That’s great you are expanding your mind, but take some time to do some exercising.
Not to mention take showers more often, especially since you are working out. By doing exercises you are boosting yourself. I know this is a problem because we both know we’ve been thinking about our weight.
What’s also important is you don’t push this off. You’ve procrastinated a lot because you are looking for short term entertainment. The thing is you have a long life ahead of you and you have a golden opportunity now to turn it into something fantastic.
I understand it’s a lot of pressure, but our parents won’t understand and you need to be taking things into your own hands. It’s time to be stronger and start looking after yourself a little more.
Eric S Burdon (Your future self.)
Take some time today to write to yourself. It could be at any stage of your life, be vulnerable with it, share the deep cuts. Don’t hold anything back, even if those wounds haven’t fully healed.
By writing to yourself and being public about it, people can understand you. I’m sure many people have experienced some of these things that I talked about above.
It’s also a way of discovering yourself all over again. A great exercise to practice and try.
To your growth!
Eric S Burdon
If you enjoyed this post make sure to share it with others so they too can get the positive vibes!